Day 4: A Spiritual Grounding

Wikipedia (not the most reliable source, but we'll go with it) states that SACRED is the general state of being considered worthy of spiritual respect or devotion.  Things are considered sacred when used for spiritual purposes or invoke some form of spiritual connection.  I love that today's prompt for our April Moon 2014 challenge is the word: SACRED. It stirs such deep, rooted, red/plum, warm energy throughout my system and I welcome it.  It's not often that we take time to recognize and revere that which we find sacred.  Here my list of sacred:

• My body/soul/self - ME!
• The unity between my wife & I
• Our journey towards creating a being
• My faith/spirituality
• My family bond
• The breath I breathe
• The reflecting/clarifying moments

The word sacred evokes a deeper connection within me... it's this unity with the soul, with the core of my being, with my body.. it brings forth the rituals we create around honoring ourselves and life.  I feel it rooted in my breath; inhaling what "good" I want from what I find sacred and exhaling all the "negative" that impedes from my connection. It recalls memories of my first discovery of my self, beyond that of the touch, but really trying to dissect the very parts of me that make me ME. It reminds me of my understanding of faith and spirituality; And, at some point in my life, my separation from conventional religion and a movement towards engaging in a more global practice of faith and healing (which can go hand-in-hand).  It calls up my deep desires of finding that energy in life that provides me a sense of spiritual grounding.  It actually even brings me to my yoga/meditation practices... and while I don't engage in them as often as I'd like, I find them to be part of my spiritual practice and honoring of my being.

In relation to our TTC process, as my wife and I have embarked in bringing a being into this universe, I have been searching for a variety of things/birthing aspects/motherhood-embracing/techniques/communities/yo-no-se-que that make our TTC experience meaningful and positive... sacred so-to-speak.  One of the most beautiful and conjuring [online] communities that I have found is SACRED PREGNANCY.  Just their mere images online invoke such amazing feelings in me.  It visually represents what I see and practice as sacred.  There aren't words to capture that feelings sometimes... In fact, it is often tears that come as a representation of what my soul wants to express.

Our journey is actually very scared to me... us. We've created this spiritual connection to this being that isn't here, yet garners our devotion wholeheartedly.  We honor it with positive affirmations, with positive intentions, with words of wisdom and ever present love. Our scared practices have now extra-embraced the welcoming of our being... they may not be here yet; but, we know they're with us.  Nonetheless... NAMASTE!

Anxiety and Pregnancy

Did you know that 5 to 16 percent of pregnant women actually have anxiety disorders (1)? Not too many folks talk about anxiety pre-, during, and post pregnancy. Pregnancy & birth is most often depicted as this glorious and beautiful, inviting event that is culminated by rainbows, flowers, a showering of happiness and all sorts of other frilly BS. But, what about some of the dark sides of TTC, pregnancy & baby having? What happens to those of us who have/suffer from anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues?

I write this because as we move throughout our progress, I question my ability to cope throughout the pregnancy and beyond without much knowledge of what is available for me... WHAT THE F@$% CAN I DO TO COPE?!?  I suffer from lower-risk anxiety attacks "every-so-often."  What that means is that, while they typically don't require medication to control, I also don't always know when they are about to come on. I certainly can't go back to what used to be my default of smoking cigarettes or drinking (which scientifically, I recognize that this may have been contributing to an increase in my surges).

I have read that medication is bad, but some might be ok... I have read that cognitive behavioral treatment is exceptionally wonderful... I have read that anxiety sometimes subsides during pregnancy due to a regulation of hormones (particularly in females like myself who have had a depletion or absence of hormone for over 10 years).  I have read many many things, but nothing that is set in stone around potential remedies.

I suppose where I could start is to actually acknowledge that the anxiety is real and that it won't take over my entire being.  I can talk about what I feel with loved ones... I can actually look into getting professional support from a reproductive therapist (did you know they had those?).  I will get through the ride even if it may not always be with smooth waters. And while all is possible, I will remember that I am not alone.

1 - Tartakovsky, M. (2012). 4 Facts About Anxiety During Pregnancy & How to Find Help. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 5, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/04/19/4-facts-about-anxiety-during-pregnancy-how-to-find-help/

Mantra

Interestingly enough when I was looking for an image that could capture my thoughts today I found this one. Warrior, two-spirited, odd pregnancy, story...FASCINATING!

So, the story goes like this... It started with the battle of Archimage & Boneyard in 451 A.D. Archimage enlist Lukasz as one of his "Twelve knights of Archimage" against Boneyard...some fighting happens in between and in a final desperate attempt to take down Boneyard, Archimage cast Lukasz into a different body; a body rich in sorcerous ability, providing him the ability to enhance other mystical talents. That body belonged to an attractive woman name Eden Blake. This being could now gain mystical armor and sword by intoning the word "mantra", which becomes her Ultraheroine name (1).  And so...

Mantra's seems to have the same underlying, mystical powers in the comic life and in the real life.  I could only hope that by repeating my now personal mantra, I, too will gain what I want from my magical call...

yummy eggs, sticky walls

yummy eggs, sticky walls

yummy eggs, sticky walls

Ohm......

1 - Source: http://www.comicvine.com/mantra/4005-14087/