Day 12: Namaste!

With only two days of reflective prompts to go, today's chosen word is FLOW. Flow evokes fluidity, wind, energy, breath....it brings to mind everyday life. It makes me think of the heart beat and our blood as it flows and its necessity for us to live. Flow in the psychological sense means full involvement or absorption in a process. I think of it more in the mechanical sense of ever-movement; the interchange of positive and negative energy to create a frequency. This actually brings me to my focus today...on [my] yoga [practice]. 

Generally (but not specifically), yoga consists of synchronized movement to the breath, creating a connection. This is done by transitioning from one pose on the inhale and then to the next on the exhale in a smooth way so that they almost run together and become rhythmic. It's interesting that my mind goes to yoga because at the root of it, yoga is meant to still the mind; to create a bigger connection between the self and the larger universe around you...but it does so through these flow of poses. In terms of the breath, it's not only about the flow of poses... it's about channeling all that you need from the universe upon your inhale and letting go of all the unnecessary upon your exhale.

I love that they call yoga a practice. Part of that flow is that it takes practice to create the purposeful rhythm. I'll be it, I am not the best illustration of a yogi. Quite frankly, it almost kills me to "practice" most days with people because here I am, this big woman, coming in to butcher the poses and block peoples view of the instructor. Then, I remind myself that yoga (in its purest form) isn't about showing off any particular ability and more about creating your own practice of movement with the self (yourself); honoring the ability that your body has, no matter how much or little it is. Of any form of practice, I find yoga to be my mental health provider, my gym, my spiritual praise and my time to reflect in on myself. I practice yoga, sometimes, like I use church [yes, I said use]; I practice when I am feeling my lowest... I practice when I need to feel better connected... I practice when I want to feel healthy. But, at the end of it all, yoga really is about the flow that is brings to my core being - the restorative connection it makes between my body and soul.

The flow of yoga allows us to find the sacred within our selves... So, with that I end by saying Namaste, as we do in yoga practice (and other moments to greet and acknowledge individuals). It means "I bow to the divine in you." I, Laz, validate your flow!

Day 4: A Spiritual Grounding

Wikipedia (not the most reliable source, but we'll go with it) states that SACRED is the general state of being considered worthy of spiritual respect or devotion.  Things are considered sacred when used for spiritual purposes or invoke some form of spiritual connection.  I love that today's prompt for our April Moon 2014 challenge is the word: SACRED. It stirs such deep, rooted, red/plum, warm energy throughout my system and I welcome it.  It's not often that we take time to recognize and revere that which we find sacred.  Here my list of sacred:

• My body/soul/self - ME!
• The unity between my wife & I
• Our journey towards creating a being
• My faith/spirituality
• My family bond
• The breath I breathe
• The reflecting/clarifying moments

The word sacred evokes a deeper connection within me... it's this unity with the soul, with the core of my being, with my body.. it brings forth the rituals we create around honoring ourselves and life.  I feel it rooted in my breath; inhaling what "good" I want from what I find sacred and exhaling all the "negative" that impedes from my connection. It recalls memories of my first discovery of my self, beyond that of the touch, but really trying to dissect the very parts of me that make me ME. It reminds me of my understanding of faith and spirituality; And, at some point in my life, my separation from conventional religion and a movement towards engaging in a more global practice of faith and healing (which can go hand-in-hand).  It calls up my deep desires of finding that energy in life that provides me a sense of spiritual grounding.  It actually even brings me to my yoga/meditation practices... and while I don't engage in them as often as I'd like, I find them to be part of my spiritual practice and honoring of my being.

In relation to our TTC process, as my wife and I have embarked in bringing a being into this universe, I have been searching for a variety of things/birthing aspects/motherhood-embracing/techniques/communities/yo-no-se-que that make our TTC experience meaningful and positive... sacred so-to-speak.  One of the most beautiful and conjuring [online] communities that I have found is SACRED PREGNANCY.  Just their mere images online invoke such amazing feelings in me.  It visually represents what I see and practice as sacred.  There aren't words to capture that feelings sometimes... In fact, it is often tears that come as a representation of what my soul wants to express.

Our journey is actually very scared to me... us. We've created this spiritual connection to this being that isn't here, yet garners our devotion wholeheartedly.  We honor it with positive affirmations, with positive intentions, with words of wisdom and ever present love. Our scared practices have now extra-embraced the welcoming of our being... they may not be here yet; but, we know they're with us.  Nonetheless... NAMASTE!

On your mark. Get set. GO!

And so, here it is!  My first post.  I've contemplated what this blog would look like for a while with no big bang theory thus far.  Mostly, I've been wanting to write about some of the experiences I've been going through..more so, my shared experiences in life and now that of trying to become a mother.  

Cigarettes and Yoga is a space for shared experiences. Currently my wife and I have engaged in trying to create a baby.  As an ovarian cancer survivor and a lesbian-identified person, this has been quite the challenge...emotionally and physically.  We are blessed in many ways to have tons of support to get us through this process and wanted to share our story along with other stories of balance, coping, dealing, stressing, laughing, enjoying and crusin' (not always with the top down) thru life.  Well, who knows... I really just want to write!  Write, write, RIGHT?!

Happy reading and we hope that you will comment, leave me/us notes, and enjoy your time spent on Cigarettes and Yoga...and Baby.

Image credit: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/06/yogis-choice-cigarettes-all-of-the-flavor-and-none-of-the-guilt/