Monday, December 23, 2013

The Perils and Privileges of Having a Baby

While our choice to try to conceive (TTC) is truly a blessing and an exciting one, it also comes with some challenges. One of the most taxing is the grueling financial aspect and monetary costs of creating a baby when you are in a same-sex marriage, trying to undergo reciprocal IVF and have a medical history that would impede you from trying other interventions in order to have this baby. Add to that the fact that we aren't the most "financially fit" folks in the world...at it's best, we are "average."


On the conservative side an estimate cost for egg retrieval, embryo lab, embryo transfer and monitoring can be about $18,000... that doesn't include any pre-authorization, medical clearances from other providers, medication, sperm selection/purchase, and all the other expenditures that go into the cost of TTC.  That's a lot!!!!  I mean, TONS of money. Our package from start to finish is costing us about $21,000...That is only for one cycle with no guarantee of a baby at the end!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  We have been fortunate, lucky, blessed, (insert word here) to have funds that have come from my parents, as well as a small loan I took out.. BUT WHAT THE HELL does everyone else do!  This is where we acknowledge our privilege.  Folks, we are excruciatingly thankful to everyone who has contributed to us monetarily, in spirit, in energy or just even in time (listening to us vent, cry & yell about this process).  

It saddens me that while we have been building this hope inside and can't wait to ATTEMPT to have a baby (again, no certainty in it), I still have to question what we would have done without any of the additional funds that have covered us.  We certainly wouldn't be able to support this endeavor financially in any other way.  A financial tip:  DO NOT APPLY FOR A FERTILITY LOAN... here's why. Applying for a unsecured personal loan will always be best, especially with iffy credit. Don't disclose that you will NEED the money for IVF.  When you do so, you are basically telling them you are going to get pregnant and its highly likely you would be leaving your place of employment to have a child and thus will be unemployed & might not be able to pay your loan. Renovations, holiday, debt consolidation, etc.... are better options. And so, here we are.  

A few of the things that helped us:
Well, fingers crossed and we will be hoping for the BEST possible outcome.... beyond the financial investment, our hearts, mind and souls are fully integrated into this process.  Here's to our future!  

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