Lessons learned...rabmblings

Choosing the right Fertility Center is like buying a house, a car & getting a degree ALL balled up into one experience on the same day.  This choice can dictate the potential for your future.. like, the power mostly lies on their hands.  That's big! I mean, HUGE!

Thanks to Google, it is much easier these days to look up center's based on proximity to your home, their stats (successful IVF, live births, age ratios), their docs, their acceptability level....all sorts of things. Another keen aspect was becoming public with our quest.  Indeed, we didn't know how many folks have gone through similar situations if we hadn't asked...(or started blogging about it). We have friends who are same-sex parents that were willing to share their stories of TTC, while having other parenting friend who went through the IVF process who were more than willing to hear EVERYTHING out.

Our decision came down to several things..insurance acceptance, inclusivity of both parents in the process, success rates, and overall cost (and, believe me this last one is a big deal).  Other things that didn't jump out immediately at us, but are super helpful in hindsight:

1. - communication etiquette (not only how open and willing they are to speak to us about the process, but how much they tell us without us having to ask...); 
2. - ability to work with you beyond a successful or failed IVF process (what are they willing to work with you on if your IVF isn't a success?  How much do they support you beyond a positive test?); 
3. - ability to engage in a supportive culture (like.. is there staff and/or space inviting?  is bed-side manner from your nurse or doctor important to you? do they support use of alternative meds for conceiving - if that's important to you?); 
4. - size acceptance (YES, that is real!  Being a plus-sized person, this was a HUGE concern to me because some providers won't work with plus-size individuals); and,
5. - age acceptance (due to higher failed IVF rates among older females, some centers don't want to work with women over 35).

Tidbits that help....

• Be an active part of your process! Look things up on the internet and talk to friends that are going though similar experiences. 
• Don't be afraid to ask...Ask about your hormone levels?  Ask what things mean? What's in the contracts?  What needs to happen for suceess?  What happens next? What doesn't happen next?  
• COST SAVER- when meds are concerned, ask the pharmacy you are purchasing your meds from if they have a sell-back or return policy.. this is super important.  Additionally, as you may know, meds are EXTREMELY expensive.  Make sure to look through your Center's blog site.  Many times, there are individuals who are selling  or, even better, giving away their meds.  Ask them to give them to you! 
• Don't give up!  Find ways to make this happen FOR YOU.  If you don't succeed and can figure the means to do it again, DO IT AGAIN!

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ON A SIDE NOTE: 

Oh... one last thing... if you are so inclined to, we are NOT giving up on our hope.  We are just readjusting and fine tuning at the moment.  This requires money and as you heard me say before, we are completely out.  I've added a DONATE button to our site... as you know, this will help fund IVF # 2 or whatever decision we make to HAVE A BABY.  Please support us as you wish... ever $1 and cent helps us re-get to our goal.  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!  That's all we've got.